Let It Be...

Today, May 6th 2008 is my two year anniversary of being a college graduate. Its a bit unsettling to think about since my life has taken me in so many different directions since I left North Carolina and I still feel as if I haven't arrived anywhere stable or decisive. Right now I feel as if I'm stuck in between two worlds, one being childhood and the other the active pursuit of a life long dream. I cant afford to make a step backwards and not quiet ready enough to leap forward.

I still cant figure out if I have thrown these two years away or have lived them to the fullest. Since coming home to NY in May of 2006 I've had 6 different jobs, working for different people and never really doing the things that I wanted to be doing. Its a bit heartbreaking to realize that I havent really done something that I'm proud of, something that is mine, something that I've created. Not having any artistic opportunities have made me doubt my own talents and consequently question this two year gap I've unknowingly reserved for 'soul searching.'

Emotionally, I've come a long way since then, I have to admit. I've discovered a solidarity between pain and hope and that no matter the trials that life has given me, I've never stopped dreaming. Its a great quality to have, and I'm proud to have it. I took this silly test on facebook that, based on how you answer the questions, will tell you which Beatles song you are, and much to my surprise, I am "Let It Be.."
and this is what it said...

Let it Be
You are an extremely optimistic individual and you are strong and content no matter what difficulties lie ahead of you. You know that you have no control over certain things in life and therefore you just do what you can and let the rest be. People enjoy being around you since you are so relaxed and easygoing. You put your faith in some higher power-whether that be God, the universe, or just your own unfailing spirit. Patience and courage are two qualities you are never without.

I'd like to believe that this is true and part of me does . I never give up the things that I believe in and if I let go it means that i've come to terms with its absence.

I'm looking forward to spending another summer in the park, writing music and reflecting on life with a bottle of white and a pack of nat shermans.